Tuesday, May 10, 2011

Cobwebs in the Corners

When I was little
Evil lived next door
as a stranger
with good intentions

His house was made
of rickety planks
sagging together
all painted a dull shade
of sadness

One day he invited me in
and I stared
at the broken promises pickling in jars
and the lost hopes cobwebbing the corners
and the faded dreams
scuttling beneath the floorboards

But mostly I stared at his gnarled hands
which he told me were once
as beautiful and pale
as my own
but they had rippled and twisted
with each failed attempt
at doing the right thing

And then he asked me
if I’d like to stay with him forever
and twirl in his dances
of sinful delight
where I’d taste a freedom
that the good never know
but though I knew his words to be true
I ran out the door and tried not to look back because
I remembered
his tortured hands

7 comments:

  1. This comment has been removed by the author.

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  2. When I first read this poem, I fell in love with the imagery and the simplicity of it all.
    And after the second reading, I've just come to adore it and appreciate it even more.
    I love how you use metaphors to symbolize evil, and how you conquered it by leaving the house.
    Really well done.

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  3. For any future readers of this poem. I did not say anything bad in the last comment. I just spelled fell wrong, beautifully showcasing the AP Lit Student. :)

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  4. Sydney, You create tension from your first stanza. There are many beautiful phrases here, but I think the way you pair the abstract with the concrete here is beautiful. And anyone who uses scuttling on a metaphorical level has my admiration. Awesome.

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  5. First off, I would like to say that I adore the fact that you used scuttling :)
    Alrighty then:
    I love love love this poem! The metaphor is easy to understand and memorable, and your descriptions are perfectly fitting, as usual. Awesome job :)

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  6. Sydney, There is so much here that is noteworthy. You weave the concrete and the abstract together. I am in that house with the speaker, but I am also blown away by the language of it.The third stanza is my favorite. I'm with Raisa: love the scuttling!

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  7. I really like the message of the poem because I can find more than one. I also like the innocence that is shown in the simplicity of the structure.

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