Underneath my shirt is my skin
Underneath my skin is my heart
Underneath my heart are dreams,
concealed by the darkness of my future,
by the expectations of others,
whose constant bombardment is almost too much,
building the pressure like a geyser waiting to explode,
or a volcano before its violent eruption,
they think they know best,
like a politician blinded by his own ambition, and greed.
Do I deserve to bear the weight of so many who have vested so much into so little?
Do I deserve to carry the burden of others past in hope to change the future?
They say the grass is always greener on the other side,
but once you finally climb that imaginary fence,
the grass seems to turn into dirt,
dry, gritty, dirty,
dirt extending into the never ending horizon,
just like the list of problems I face,
once I get over one, more seem to take its place,
like walking on a treadmill,
you feel like your getting somewhere,
when in fact
you’re just walking an endless track,
repeating itself over and over,
like a record player stuck on a song,
life is the eternal process of walking everywhere,
yet getting nowhere.
I like the raw emotion of this Connor and the way it peels back layer by layer in its construction. The way you take the grass is greener metaphor and twist around is excellent. Good work.
ReplyDeleteI think that you describe something that is very universal feeling that a lot of people feel, and the way you wrote it is very good. Nice Work!!
ReplyDeleteVery deep, I'm feelin' it.
ReplyDeleteA very vivid description of commonly experienced pressure. I was waiting for the optimistic comment on the subject at the end.
ReplyDeleteConnor I have so many favorite lines in this poem. I love the imagery of the volcano and the green grass turning to dirt. I really liked your last thought too about how life is about walking everywhere and getting nowhere- although a little depressing to think about, it is somewhat true. I would agree with Megan in that you did a good way of describing this feeling of not having control over your own life and wondering where it is even going. The way you displayed it was very interesting to read, nice job!
ReplyDeleteI like this poem but you should definitely upload the one about reality and fantasy because I like the line about the hog and the frog.
ReplyDeletevery deep poem, good job.
ReplyDelete