You say "I love the way you laugh."
But if only you knew the way this laugh was formed.
From the nervous giggles of an unsure childhood, from the awkward, the devastating, the scary, the funny, the ugly and the beautiful that this laugh pulled me through.
You say "I love the way the green specks of color dance with the amber in your eyes."
But if only you knew what those specks of green and amber have been witness too.
From the divorce, the suicide, the death, the beauty, and the angry you put me though.
Don't forget the shame and guilt these eyes shed tears for.
You say "I love the way you move with such grace and finesse."
But if only you knew why I had to learn to tiptoe through life.
From the drunken nights you lay passed out on the floor, from the mornings when I would do anything in my power to sneak away, from the childhood that makes my smile crack.
You say "I am so proud of you. I love you."
And my heart shatters my soul ebbs...
If only you knew.
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Erika,
ReplyDeleteThis takes a risk here and I love the way you bring the underbelly to the surface. It manages to be beautiful and heartbreaking all at once. Nice work.
Erika,
ReplyDeleteAwesome job. I really like this. As ms. Herlihy said it does indeed manage to be both heartbreaking and Beautiful. (:
It really exposes what I think metaphor is often used to conceal. It lays the story in front of you rather than trying to cover it up and make it something else. Nice job! I enjoyed reading it.
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ReplyDeleteErika this gave me goose bumps when I read it, it was that powerful and touching. I give you credit for having the courage to truly expose a part of your story and write it all down on paper. I love the idea behind it- that we all have done so nicely concealing our pain but that this hidden pain has shaped us in some way. I find it amazing that you have turned these sad events into the beautiful aspects of your life. This whole poem is beautiful, good job.
ReplyDeleteThis gave me chills- I feel like this sums your personality pretty well. I could see your happy side, and also the sad one that we usually don't get to see. I liked how your true personality comes through, and how you manage to keep it, even within a poem.
ReplyDeleteYou did a really good job of showing your true thoughts and emotions in this poem. I want to come and give you a hug. I like the line about "And my heart shatters my soul ebbs
ReplyDeleteThey did a great job of opening up not completely but just enough to show a powerful voice. This poem has lots of emotion in it and you can really tell that the person but some of themselves into it.
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