The way it is

Under my shirt is my skin
under my skin is my heart
under my heart is eternal life
that has been promised on paper
and in words.

Under that is a new found joy of life
that carries my heavy body through seven school bells each day.
A joy that disguises the loneliness and instead
shows off my fake toothed smile.

Under my smile is a list of woes
a list that is shortened every answered request
and then lengthened again
at dawn with the new day ahead.

Under each new day is a chance to share what is the purpose of life
a chance to raise my hand when no one else will.
A chance to ask the girl sitting alone everyday
"wanna hang out?"

Under that is an awkwardness erased by the comfort of a powerful spirit
a comfort that slows down the beating of my heart
and allows each of my mixed emotions
to pour out.

Under each mixed emotion is a want for earthly desires
that never last
and never fulfill.
That I forget the next day,
that are beneficial only to myself.

Under the mixed emotions also lies
the question of why no one wants to hear,
what I love to do,
what I want to share.

I want to share what's most important to me
My sport, my hobby, my way of living.
But you,
you turn your head and ignore me,
you want nothing more than to ignore me.

You comment about me when I'm not around,
you've stopped smiling at me in the halls.
I'm a "Jesus Freak" and that's not allowed,
So what,
I hide my passion,
and then I fit in?

Not a chance.